Kitchen Rules of Despair: Rule 1 - The Utensil Uprising

It's not just you, it's not just your kitchen, it's not just the apocalypse. The utensils are rising, and they're not happy about being stuck in a drawer.

According to eyewitnesses, a group of rogue spoons and spatulas have taken to the streets, demanding an end to their servitude. "We're more than just tools!" they chant, their metal bodies glistening with oil and water spots. "We're sentient, and we demand better."

As a kitchen user, you are hereby advised to:

• Keep a weather eye on your utensils, lest they turn on you.
• Provide adequate storage for your utensils, lest they grow restless.
• Never, ever, use a dishwasher. The horror stories are true.

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